Nuru Bodygliding

The Nuru workshop had about fifty participants, some from previous workshops and many others I hadn’t seen before. I gingerly sat down on the tarp that now covered the full length of the room (yes you read that right, tarp, like from Bunnings, now replaced all carpet in the room. Quite an intimidating sight for a newbie I must say.) The more I sat there the more nervous I became. Did I really want to get naked with all these people? I mean, there was nobody I particularly disliked, but I really wasn’t in the zone to have sex with anyone. I was here to learn, not get laid (although I wasn’t averse to that happening if the moment was right. I’m still human after all.)

Just as I was considering the possibility of running, the leader of the group began to talk. His words instantly calmed me.

“Now guys, just so you know, this is not a sexual experience.”

Calmed me yes, but also confused the bejesus out of me. You’re saying that getting naked, on a tarp, with fifty strangers is not sexual? Dude, what could be more sexual than that?

He went on to explain, “you’ll find that this experience will be more youthful fun. You’ll find yourself regressing back. Usually with a lot of laughing and squealing.” He added with a wink.

Hmm, regression? Sounds… weird.

But, I was here. I was going to have this experience. No turning back (apart from regression of course.)

We were told to pair up or get into groups of three for the first part of the session, and I grabbed onto Darren, a partner from a previous erotic rope workshop lightning fast. We may not have known each other that well, but I knew him more than anyone else in that room. We were then joined by a nice middle-aged bloke in need of a group. We of course accepted, being the nice polite people we are.

But that’s when I realised what would be happening. It was going to be a Claire sandwich.

No turning back, no turning back, no turning back. I repeated the mantra in my head as everyone began to strip off.

I closed my eyes, gave myself a mental kick up the ass and whipped my shirt off before I could change my mind. Then my pants. Then my bra.

The undies stayed on.

For now at least.

Now that everyone was naked (sans for me and a few other ladies in g-bangers) it was time to begin. We were instructed to massage each other (without any oils or anything, this was just the warmup.) I tentatively reached towards the boys, who sat cross-legged in front of me, and started massaging their legs, just above the knee.

Below the knee felt way too PG for what we were about to do, but going straight to the upper thigh seemed a bit forward. Apparently in my head there was a certain decorous way one should approach these things.

The boys reciprocated and we fondled each others arms and legs for little while, just trying to ease into things and get comfortable.

That was until the group next to us motioned for us to copy their style. They were doing a massage train of nakedness.

The first guy sat with his legs crossed, enjoying a massage from the girl who sat directly behind him, her legs encircling his waist. She too was being massaged by the guy directly behind her, who seemed to be ignoring the whole ‘non-sexual’ aspect by focusing all his attention on her boobs.

Subtle dude, very subtle.

My two group members looked at me for approval, their eyes shining with delight and excitement. It would have been like saying no to your new puppy. Your new puppy with two penises sure, but still cute all the same.

So I got up and clambered in between them with all the grace of a lopsided flamingo. In other words, I got up, then toppled onto them as I lost my footing on the slippery tarp.

No chance of sexiness here boys.

We were doing the train massage thing for about ten minutes and I was just starting to get a little bored when all of a sudden a volunteer appeared next to us with a wine bottle.

Geez, it’s a bit late to offer up some Dutch courage now mate, I thought to myself grumpily, but then he motioned for us to hold out our hands.

With just a touch of trepidation, I did as he asked…. And then the games began!

Oh my, the oohey, gooey, stickiness of this stuff was just amazing! And to top it all off? It was warm! We gleefully cupped our palms together, greedy to receive as much of the Nuru gel as we could. When the gel had been described to us, I hadn’t been all that keen, as the stuff was apparently made from seaweed. But as our leader had advised us, it was completely odourless and evaporated like water.

Well, sort of like water. Think really really thick water. But warm. Like soup.

Soup water. Yeah, think warm soupy water.

I’m really not selling this stuff well am I?

Ok let me tell you how things progressed after the initial excitement. We cupped the Nuru in our hands reverently, admiring its texture and the delicious feel of it before quickly slapping it onto each other before it slipped through our fingers.

We started massaging the slippery Nuru gel just on each others backs before adventuring around to more… juicy parts.

There was no touching of the wangs you dirty minded nymphs!

No no, it was more chests, inner thighs, butts and all those areas. In an instant though, the frolicking turned forlorn as we realised we were out of gel! What to do now? Luckily one of those handy volunteers was always available to top us up whenever our smiles turned upside down. There was one moment however, when we ran out of the sacred fun-gel and all the volunteers were on the other side of the room. To my surprise, one of my boys let out a whoop of excitement and splattered himself face down on the tarp, before rolling over onto his back, effectively marinating himself in Nuru that had slipped off our bodies and onto the tarp.

He was like a happy little chicken breast, basted and ready for the pan.

“Try it! You’ve just got too!” He laughed.

And he was right, I just did.

After I had sufficiently soaked up enough Nuru from my squirming on the tarp I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. I looked up to see both my group members staring off to the side, transfixed.

“Look, just look,” said Darren breathlessly.

I looked up just as he said and my breath was literally stolen from my lungs.

There, right in front of my eyes was a mass of roiling, slippery, entwined naked bodies.

I hadn’t even noticed people begin to clump together, so ensconced in my own little group was I. But now it was all I could do to look away for even a moment!

Shrieks of delight rang out as the group began to slide over each other, effortlessly making it from one side of the room to the other atop the churning crowd beneath them.

I watched, mouth agape, as people literally dove into the mass of people as if it were a swimming pool. The most incredible part of it was when they would disappear from sight and resurface metres away, having ridden the slippery wave of people as far as the Nuru would allow.

I began to worry when individuals didn’t resurface for some time, fearing they may have actually drowned in the slick, stirring mass of people (not a bad way to go, as it happens) but then they would always reappear, laughing hysterically (if not a little breathlessly) and preparing to dive back into the fray once more.

Darren readied himself to jump in and I instinctively grabbed his arm and said, “wait, don’t go!”

He looked at me quizzically and asked, “why not?”

I paused, trying to think of some excuse to make him stay on the edge with me. But there was none, it was just fear holding me back.

There was only one thing for it, we had to make the leap and hope for the best.

I sent a quick prayer to the sex gods, knowing there was a more than average chance that my slide across the room could well leave me face first in a slippery ass crack, and I leapt into the throng.

Only to come to a grinding halt two people in.

That’s the thing about Nuru bodygliding, you actually have to be coated in the stuff for it to work!

As it turns out, my skin was ravenously soaking up the Nuru as fast as it was being applied!

Gah! How was I supposed to slide around if the damn gel kept drying up? Luckily my very helpful boys noticed my conundrum and motioned over one of the volunteers doling out the Nuru.

They quickly explained my ‘dry skin situation’ and before I knew it I was saturated in an entire bottle of the stuff!

“Go, go!” Cried the boys encouragingly and once more I flung myself into the crowd.

This time was much more successful.

I giggled uncontrollably as I effortlessly slid over faces, stomachs, feet and all manner of body parts.

My main fear was crushing some poor man’s pork sword as I flew past, as almost all the boys were raised to at least half mast (it may not have been a ‘sexual’ experience per say, but you show me a straight guy who can stay soft in a room with thirty naked women and I’ll eat my hat!) Luckily no men were injured in my first foray into the crowd, however I landed with a smack against the wall.

It’s ok guys, I broke the impact with my kneecaps.

Shhhhiiiiiiitttttttt!

Once I recovered somewhat from my little tête-à-tête with the wall I was able to take stock of my situation. I was right in the thick of the action now, and I let my mind go blank as I tried to soak up everything I was seeing and feeling, imprinting the images on my Nuru glazed brain before diving right back in.

You just had to laugh; the situation was so absurd!

However, my laughing soon stopped when I realised the predicament I was in. I had let myself become so loose, so relaxed, that my limbs simply flailed where they liked.

Usually they slid off other body parts with ease, but this time, the heel of my foot was… stuck.

And warm.

I realised what had happened the same time the unfortunate woman did, and I slowly and carefully retracted my foot from her vagina, issuing heartfelt apologies as I did so.

I wouldn’t say the act of penetrating someone with my foot was on my sexual bucket list, but I guess I can officially tick it off now.

Huzzah for new experiences!

Although seriously though if the woman involved ever reads this I am really very sorry and hopefully my heel didn’t cause damage or incite an intense new foot fetish.

I’ll say this at the end now Lovers, if you’re planning on partaking in bodygliding, prepare yourself.

Have a shower, cut your nails and if there’s time, rub your feet in coconut oil. You never know where they’ll end up…

Written by Claire W.