Teledildonic Sex Toys are taking the world by storm. What you need to know!
What is the New Sex Toy Taking the World by Storm & Why do you Need to Know About it?
The evolution of technology has brought us many profound and important inventions, and this year teledildonics are the latest craze. Maggie May opens our eyes to the new frontier of adult toys, which are bringing people closer together like never before.
Imagine if you will… You’re at yet another boring sales meeting, when, all of a sudden, you feel it deep inside you, pulsating. You try to keep a straight face and sit still and hope no one notices. You thank your lucky stars that the annoying Marketing guy is doing one of his PowerPoint presentations (again), so the meeting room lights are switched off. You feel your face flush red. And just as it’s done, and you take your last big gasp, the PowerPoint ends, the lights come on, and your colleague next to you is surprised to see you all flustered and asks, quite concerned, “Are you O.K.?”
No, your boyfriend isn’t hiding underneath the boardroom table. In fact, he is nowhere near you - he is on the other side of the world.
Teledildonics (or remote sex toys) are taking the world by storm and are the it thing for 2020. These ingenious little toys can take long-distance (or even short distance) relationships to a whole new level.
Of course, remote sex is nothing new. In days of yore before cybersex, when a couple was separated by time and space, they would connect by writing one another steamy erotic letters. Of course, soon after Alexander Graham Bell invented the phone, it didn’t take disconnected lovers long to discover phone sex. And now we have sexting, “Call me” phone sex and webcam sex. But that is so yesterday people!
We all know and agree, I’m sure, that the body’s sexiest organ is the mind, and remote sex is precisely what the doctor ordered. Teledildonics have been a significant game-changer when it comes to connecting people who aren’t near one another, and the technology it uses is quite impressive - even if it is in its infancy.
“The body’s sexiest organ is the mind, and remote sex is exactly what the doctor ordered.”
So how does it work?
Let’s say Mrs. S lives in Australia. She has a teledildonic, which is a high-tech dildo embedded with touch sensors. Her partner, Mr. X whom she met online, lives in the United States. His teledildonic is an advanced penis sleeve that pulsates and contracts. The two connect their sex toys via a remote sex toy app and a video app so they can see and hear one another. When the woman strokes, fellates or inserts her dildo inside of her, the man feels his sleeve squeezing and pulsating accordingly, in real-time, mimicking her touch, her mouth, her vagina. The sensations are remarkably close to the real thing.
Similarly, the man may have an artificial vagina embedded with touch sensors, and on the other end, the woman has a vibrator. As he strokes or performs cunnilingus on the vagina, her vibrator reacts in synchronisation, allowing her to feel his caresses.
Who is it for?
Whilst most teledildonics are geared toward heterosexuals, many can be used by queer and nonbinary couples.
Obviously created with long-distance lovers in mind, teledildonics have changed the way couples survive the distance and longing. At the click of their smartphone or tablet, they can look into their lover’s eyes, hear their voice and now even “feel” them intimately. Of course, nothing beats real-life intimacy; however, this is about as good as remote sex can be.
But before you go and buy an aeroplane ticket for your loved one, you don’t have to be on the other side of the world to qualify as a potential enjoyer of this nifty little gadget. Whether you’re separated by the big blue sea or merely the walls in your house, all couples can enjoy the novelty and excitement only a teledildonic can bring.
I can’t tell you how thrilling it is when my partner and I are both at our jobs, and all of a sudden, I feel my toy vibrating inside of me. Sometimes he teases me with it throughout the entire day, turning it on and off; when we finally meet up that evening, the intimacy is incredibly intense and overwhelming. Perhaps my favourite time was when he excused himself from a dinner party we were attending, and before I knew it, I could feel my toy moving inside of me. When he returned to the table, we couldn’t stop giving each other cheeky looks and winks all night. Intimacy as its best!
“I can’t tell you how thrilling it is when my partner and I are both at our jobs, and all of a sudden, I feel my toy vibrating inside of me.”
Long-distance couples engaging in cybersex aren’t the only ones who have embraced this new exciting technology. Sex workers and adult movie providers are in on it too. Teledildonics makes remote sex work (web-cam-phone interface) more lifelike, allowing clients to interact with the provider personally. As the sex worker fellates their dildo, the man on the other end with the credit card can actually “feel” it. This is a far safer option for most men than going to a brothel, and far more personal than merely masturbating to an adult movie. Similarly, a consumer can connect their toy to an adult movie and feel their favourite adult star as if they were a co-star in the film. Tonight I’ll be having sex with Tyler Nixon and James Deen!
Merely the start
We are only at the beginning of this exciting new endeavour, and I, for one, can’t wait to see the progress of remote sex toys and the influence they will have on our lives and how we engage with sex. It is already starting to change the game, and as always, some will like it, and some won’t. Most certainly, long-distance couples will find remote sex toys to be their saviour, making the pain of the long-distance situation a little more bearable. Intimacy in a long-distance relationship need not be solely imaginative any longer - lovers can now feel every caress, every touch, be it soft or rough.
“Feel every caress, every touch, be it soft or rough.”
So should you get one?
Sure, you can let your partner know you’re thinking of them by sending them an erotic text message or a sexy selfie. But then you’ll be like everyone else. Boring! If you want to take it to a deliciously exciting and novel level, let them know with your teledildonic.
Inspired by one of those UberEats ads, I’m going to leave with you with this: “Tonight I’ll be having sex with my favourite adult stars.”
Sending you good vibrations.
As always, I would love to hear from you! Tell me your thoughts - do you like remote sex toys, would you get one for yourself, what are the main pros and cons? Comment below, we’d love to hear from you!
Written by Maggie May
Maggie May is a sexologist and a writer. She is a lover of all things sensual and sexual.