Strap Ons Buying Guide

There's nothing more pleasurable than indulging in some erotic strap-on sex with your partner for the very first time. It doesn't matter if you're gay, bisexual or straight; every couple should put their imagination to good use at least once and discover their lover with a harness and strap-on dildo combination. Mention strap-on sex though and most people will think of that girl-on-girl scene in their adult movie collection where the actress wearing the harness plays at being a man, revels in having a pretend pecker and uses it enthusiastically to shag her girlfriend!

But strap-on sex is definitely not just for "lesbian" movies - nor is it about women playing at being men. With just a little erotic imagination, bending over your boyfriend with a strap-on dildo can add novelty, excitement, playfulness and even a deeper intimacy to any couple's sexual repertoire. Trust us…going through the back door and conquering that last sexual frontier will be well worth it! So buckle yourselves in folks because, like the astronauts, it’s time for you and your partner to go where you’ve never gone before!

Debunking the myths
So what if you’ve teased him with your fingers and your tongue, but now he wants to go further? For some rear-end rookies, the common misconception is that anal penetration is for gay people to enjoy, however this is simply not true! Many men who are 100% heterosexual enjoy having their bum massaged, fingered and penetrated - including penetration with a strap-on. Heterosexual men who enjoy recipient strap-on play are not secretly gay; they’re just heterosexual men who enjoy adventurous sex!

Women can also enjoy the power associated with wearing a strap-on dildo, particularly if it means giving their partner pleasure in a different way. Taking their bloke from behind can also give them a taste for how their fella feels doing it in the doggy position. This can be a liberating experience for many chicks as unlike their usual rear-entry position, he’s unable to see her, and she’s in control and dominating the pleasure.

Strap-on sex toys are designed for couples who are daring to try something new, and for those willing to experiment with different ways to keep their sex life healthy and exciting. Offering a unique sensual connection between you and your partner, a harness and dildo kit is a great way to indulge in a spot of gender-bending and sexy role-play. So why not give your boy-toy the anal satisfaction he craves by strapping on the passion and sex-ploring your fantasies? AdultShop has a fabulous range of strap-on sex toys for you to choose from, check them out online or in store today!

Hitching up
Generally speaking, a harness lets you strap a dildo onto your body so that you can penetrate your partner while keeping your hands free for other sexual activities. When saddling up for the first time you’ll notice that there are two basic models for harnesses – jock–style and thong harnesses.

Thong-style harnesses
Thong harnesses have one strap that goes around your waist or hips (depending again on what feels most comfortable), allowing for greater maneuverability and deeper penetration of your partner. The other strap goes between your legs and over your butt cheeks (like a thong), and attaches in back to the first strap, making it very easy to strap on and take off. The only disadvantage to this style is that the middle strap is not usually adjustable, so smaller women may find the middle strap too big. A major advantage of the thong-style harness however is that the dildo presses directly against your skin instead of against a pad, so you can experience the sensation of penetrating your partner while still enjoying clitoral stimulation. And the strap that runs between your legs can also provide you with vaginal and anal stimulation at the same time.

Jock-style harnesses
Jock-style harnesses feature three straps. One strap goes around your waist or hips (depending on what feels most comfortable), while the other two straps attach to the sides of the front section of the harness, encircling your thighs and attaching at your waist. Jock-style harnesses can make you feel more in control of the dildo and more secure in the harness, and they’re generally more variable than thong-style harnesses, so large and small women are able to adjust the straps to suit their size. Also, jock-style harnesses don't cover up your own “openings”, so other sex toys or activities can be brought in to increase the excitement for both of you!

Material girl
Harnesses come in a variety of styles and materials, and with different features to suit your needs - so there's plenty to choose from! As with any sex toy, the material used to make your harness can make a huge difference to your erotic experience, which in turn affects your orgasm. So pay attention! Leather harnesses are sensual to touch and have a naughty Dominatrix feel to them, so it's an excellent harness material for steamy strap-on sessions.

Nylon is much cheaper than other harness materials, which is great for sex kittens on a budget. It's also machine washable in cold water and can do its thing in a hot tub! Rubber on the other hand, is the perfect play thing, as it can be easily cleaned and it's also great for larger girlies because it's form fitting and flexible. Another option is vinyl which is very easy to look after, long lasting and sturdy.

Whatever your preference, both styles of harness will have either a triangular or rectangular piece that sits over your vulva. This section has an O-ring or opening, through which you can slip in any standard size dildo, provided it has a flared, flat-bottomed base. The flared base helps hold the dildo snugly in the front piece so it won’t slip out, while the flat bottom provides support as the harness-wearer thrusts with the hips.

Some strap-on dildos stick straight out, while others are curved. Generally curved models provide more variety, as experimenting with different positions provides different erotic stimulation. Dildo firmness also varies somewhat. Some people prefer very flexible dildos, while others prefer firmer models. Generally speaking though, jelly dildos are the most flexible.

Thigh harnesses are also available, and they’re just the thing for sex with your partner in a sitting position. If you want to provide your partner with a deeper sense of penetration, the thigh harness will let you thrust your whole body into the movement!

Saddle up cowgirl
Never go straight into pretend penile penetration strap-on style without having tried other stuff first. Rimming (sometimes called analingus) is a good place to start. It involves licking, flicking or inserting a stiff tongue into his anal passage and thrusting like a pretend penis. It feels great (for both sexes actually) because this area is highly sensitive and loaded with nerve endings.

Strap-ons are more elaborate than your average sex toy, so stepping into one may feel odd at first. Take your time fitting the dildo and adjusting the straps of your harness and be patient with your toy, with yourself and with your partner.

Always remember that any type of anal penetration absolutely, positively needs lubrication because the rectum doesn't produce any natural lubrication of its own. Your man might find a thicker lubricant most effective, possibly with a desensitizer in the formula.

Apply loads of lube to both your dildo and his bottom, and then gently rub the head of your dong against his opening. Wait for his anus to relax and open, then let him back onto your dildo, rather than you do the penetrating. Hold your dildo at the base and wait until the head (only) penetrates. Pause until he says it’s okay to go further and insert a little at a time, and very slowly! Once it’s all in, pause again, then start with some slow, gentle thrusting. Angle yourself so that you’re aiming for his belly button. And remember to stop regularly to apply more lubricant and to exit as slowly as you entered – go too fast and his muscles will tense and spasm.

Strap-on harnesses allow your hands to remain free during erotic coupling, so use them to knead his balls and stroke his perineum while you’re penetrating him. This will make him quiver involuntarily – which will add to the new and exciting sensations he’s already feeling.

Tips for the first-timer
Remember the more aroused he is, the less it will hurt initially (having an orgasm first might also relax him). Ask him to hold his bottom open and bear down (as if he’s trying to go to the toilet) – it will open up his anus. Tell him to breathe deeply, and then back up so you can penetrate him just a little. If he starts to panic, tell him to try contracting his anal muscles voluntarily to give him a sense of control.

And remind him to give you constant feedback. It may take a few sessions before he can accept your strap-on fully, so don’t rush him or apply any pressure on him to “perform”. And if at any time he tells you it feels painful, stop or at least take the stimulation back a notch! Remember - the key to anal pleasure is relaxation and lubrication! It may feel uncomfortable initially, but once you’re both relaxed and he’s thrown away all those old ideas he had about male sexuality, you’ll both soon be enjoying the ride.

The final word
Strap-on sex toys not only open up new avenues in the bedroom, but they can also strengthen your relationship as you experiment and try different ways of pleasing each other. Many couples don't talk much about their sex lives; they just do it. Because strap-on sex encourages sexual experimentation, it’ll get you talking about how you want to enjoy these new possibilities, which can be highly arousing in itself!

Be sure to wash your strap-on dildo before you use it for the first time and immediately after each use before putting it away to play with another day. Using an antibacterial wipe or vibe cleaner is just the thing for keeping all your sex toys safe, hygienic and in tiptop condition. AdultShop stocks a number of tried and tested products which are ideal for the job, many of which are anti-bacterial, anti-viral and anti-fungal as well. Some cleaners are also alcohol free and contain no perfumes or fragrances, which means they’re not only safe to use on your latex and silicone toys, they’re also perfect for using directly on sensitive or irritated skin.

And remember that while strap-ons can definitely add a whole new dimension to your regular sexual routine, strap-on sex doesn't mean exclusively strap-on sex! Most couples who own strap-ons don't use them every time they play, but rather from time to time when they're in the mood. However you decide to use them, just be sure to keep an open mind, use plenty of lube and – enjoy!